The mustangs are here: early days
Dakota got comfortable pretty quickly after the first night, and we were able to let him out by himself on a pretty large paddock most of the day, every day. He met other horses through the fence, and was pretty excited about having a lot of room to express his energy. He ran around every day in his paddock at least a few times, sometimes at full speed!
The son of the barn owner fed Dakota often at first.... He said Dakota told him to feed him :)
Denali on the other hand was not having any of us in the stall, except for cleaning. She was impossible to touch and get near to, and I felt bad leaving her in her stall day after day. I did try my best to spend time with her every day, but all she did was eat, and eat some more and ignore me.
Finally after 3 weeks I decided to call a "mustang trainer" to expedite the process. We did some work in her stall with myself, Denali and the trainer, and still I felt very stifled with the progress. Disappointed. Frustrated. It felt we were imposing ourselves on her, and there was no connection, no desire on her part to have anything to do with humans.
The trainer believed, as others had said prior, that humans may have hurt her in the past. Denali was about 15 years old when I adopted her, and she most likely was born wild and captured and maybe she identified humans as dangerous. She was scared.
In early February my dad died, and I went back to Europe for a week. Before I did though, I asked the mustang trainer if she could take Denali with her back to her barn and work with her daily. I felt I was giving Denali a chance to grow and actually benefit from the work with a trainer.
I would not do that now. I now know horses need TIME. Lots of time. They need months, years with other horses. They need to be left alone with their herd, to connect with their kind, have space, graze, and be horses. As well as have time with us, their guardians, but without agendas, without all the control we think horses need. But I wasn't aware of this then.
I came back from Europe after being with family and went to visit Denali at the mustang trainer's barn. I was visiting Denali and Dakota on alternate days, and they were both so far from each other and far from me. I was driving a lot!
Denali seemed improved at first. She was roaming the barn and the trainer was grooming her every day, and had me groom her too. She worked hard at getting her to pick up her feet and getting her hooves done (not much progress there). I noticed everything was strained though. There was no joy in how the training was done, and surely Denali was not having fun. She was stressed and tense, even during grooming. Everything was imposed on her, and she had no choice but to comply; she was always tied when things were done “to” her, not “with” her. It just did not feel good. I watched the trainer work with other mustangs, and it was the same. Everyone was stressed.
Dakota running as fast as he could in the space he had. All four hooves off the ground!
Eventually the 30 days was up, and Denali came back to be with Dakota, who was THRILLED to have mom back. Now she could go outside with him, because she was "trained" to wear a halter and lead.... which was a good thing, because it gave her more freedom to go in during the day and be brought into the barn at nights.
But of course I am not and was not someone who wanted to force anything on her (or anyone, for that matter), and within a few weeks all that "training" was forgotten. I could see Denali was not interested in doing anything I wanted her to do, so why was I forcing her? Why did I rescue her? What was my goal? Did I feel rejected that she didn't need me, didn't care for me one iota? Yes. But there was more, and I needed to uncover that, not just "train" her.
In the meanwhile, I had fun and was grateful for Dakota. He was young, goofy, curious, interested and interesting. I walked with him around the paddock every day and even took him out on the property on some outings to eat grass and walk. Until he became bolder, and I figured out that he was stronger than me and I could not "control" him. So I decided to work with him in the paddock until I felt comfortable handling him and until he was more aware of himself and we had more of a connection.
Dakota all alone in his field....
A few weeks passed and I called the mustang trainer back for a "refresher". She came with her husband and had me show her what I had "taught" Denali. Which was nothing. We were working outside the barn, in an open gravel area, and after about 20 minutes, the trainer, visibly upset that all her work had gone down the drain, took over and "showed me" how to do it. I can only say that from here on out things got very bad. It was over an hour of abuse, and I was in such shock that I was frozen and could not move. I only wish I would have filmed it, so I could report such a "trainer". But I also know there is much worse around.
After getting Denali to move and stop and do several forced movements very roughly, the trainer decided she was going to wash the poop off her legs/bum. Denali had been having diarrhea for several weeks (we did not know then it was the feed, which was too rough, we discovered that later on) and her rear end & legs were covered in poop. Denali was very scared of the hose, and the trainer first started out gently, just a trickle of water. But then the hose was turned on full force and the trainer became more and more angry as Denali became more and more scared. Even enlisting the help of her strong husband did not calm the woman, and she took it upon herself to tie Denali to a post and to turn on the hose on her back. I will never forget Denali's eyes, pleading me to stop the crazy woman. I can only say that I now know how abused people who can't fight back feel, because I was paralyzed. Denali rammed herself against the post, jamming her shoulder. I later noticed she was had cut herself and was bleeding. Of course nothing stopped this mad woman who was on a mission to clean her legs. She went on for 20-30 minutes with the hose, while Denali continued to slam herself to the post. Finally the trainer tied Denali really tight so her face was less than an inch against the post and she could not move. Eventually the poop came off her back and the water was turned off.
I knew then I would never let this woman touch any of my horses again and I knew I never wanted to see her face again. I later sent her an email to let her know I did not want to work with her again. She suggested I give up Denali and get a passive, domesticated horse...because… of course in her mind I was not able to “control” a wild horse. So much was happening for me here. Everything I was feeling about how I wanted to be with my horses was exactly the opposite of what the “horse people” said. I became very conflicted, to the point that I started feeling sick to my stomach when I drove to the boarding facility.
I needed to get more clear with how I wanted to be with my horses, who did I want around them? I decided "no more trainers".
After this episode, Denali regressed to a state of insecurity and fear that was worse than we she arrived. I finally realized that I had to have no agenda whatsoever. I truly had to surrender my desires and hopes. The owner of the barn, bless her heart, was upset that she could not handle Denali, but worked hard at staying calm. She could actually put a rope on Denali in the mornings to take her out, and at nights Denali was the last one in. Sometimes she had to stand there for 20 minutes before Denali allowed her to clip the rope on her halter.
I must say that this process actually got this lovely woman to become interested in mustangs, and she ended up adopting one herself later on. The process of gentling a mustang can be so enticing to us humans.
Eventually I knew I had to find another place for them....where they had more space, freedom, more choices.....and through another connection, I found a place that was perfect for them!
Denali standing next to Dakota after he received a grooming session. It would be months before she let me touch her on her own terms..
In mid May I was able to get someone to help me transport both Denali and Dakota to Sky Ranch Stables in North Plains, where the geldings had over 100 acres to roam, including forests, creek, pond, and so much grass....and the mares had about 20 acres. They were out 24/7 in the summer, and in the old barn at nights in the colder weather.
It turned out they stayed there for over a year and blossomed with the routine and the company of their herd mates and adapted to people around them so well.
